Dear Tech Support:



Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of his was included with the
product information.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Fishing
7.5, and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!!!!!!

THE REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints.

It is due to a primary misconception generally by male users. Many
people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its creator to run everything!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife
1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
disallow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up
with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual
under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife
1.0 and work on improving the situation.  I suggest installing the background
application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation.

Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume
all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of
their cause. You will also find that GPF's are cyclical. The best course of
action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to
give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal. Anyway,
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills 4.2.
You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.

WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Tech Support